The two of us meet, it seemed to complete the search for the love that we desperately need. Our feelings were true, not a lie from me to you.
I was ready so ready for us to be the reality of lifelong love from here to eternity.
The passion, the joy , the anger, the pain, the loss and the gain this is and was not a game, for me or for you for I know your heart is true, and so is mine but it was shrinking over time.
This was not our fault or maybe it was, if we are honest with ourselves we were not planting good seeds. A lifelong commitment can’t be rushed in a few days, we got ahead of ourselves, not doing it God’s way. But that’s ok, you see, we learn, grow and receive, wisdom from each other and from God our heavenly father.
We made decisions based on love but also on geography. That’s not enough. I wanted you and you wanted me and nothing would stop us bull headed are we. To do things right, get to know each other, not in a night, to be married man and wife to live separate till it is right for God to give us the go ahead. You said it best, we got ahead of God and that’s ok, I know he was here showing us the way of maybe a chance to get it right. Step back, take time, really know each other heart, body and mind, before we jump in to a big reality. We never had the chance for me to know you and you to know me.
It got really intense, really fast, too much speed. Real life is that way so we need to learn how to breathe and step back, take a minute to remind ourselves why were in it. For love, strong and true it takes time not just for me and you but for us to learn each other without fear, anger or intimidation. I was shrinking away and not able to say it. I’m alive, emotional, passionate, animated, sarcastic not malicious and I’m light with the laughter. I smile, a lot. I am loud you are not. I’m a big loving heart that wants to express, I know your heart is the same so maybe this was a test to see you and me if we can be, but do it right, I’m not closing the door or saying good night to the chance of our life to be man and wife but to do it right oh love to do it right.
I want to love you, to need you, to believe in you and to see you grow into the man that God has in plan. Will we be husband and wife? We might if we do it right. Step back and take time, not let money or distance dictate our steps. Can we get it together this was only a test that we did not fail. We are learning and growing, be patient I say to us and give God back the wheel. To be together I will treasure but only if it’s real. And only time will tell so I don’t count you out, your still the man that moved my soul and made me want to shout I’m in love, forever I found him my man, and love in my heart that still can be the plan.
Let’s get ourselves together and maybe we might have the right to fight for our love but not in a night. Good seed and good soil. It is required for love to grow, slowly not in a few hours of I love you and you love me so it’s settled just like that, no it didn’t work for you or me.
I am open to you and want us to be, if you don’t shut the door than maybe we will see the possibility of our lives really becoming one. Based on faith, fun and laughter, responsibility here and after until the time is right for us to take flight. I hope you keep our love alive and don’t shut the door. It does not have to be over but it has to be mature and that happens over time. You can’t rush time. When and if you come to me and I to you it will be done with integrity, dignity too. Not rushed because of situations that We want to change but because we do the work both the love and the pain of changing and healing and growing and knowing that no matter what we are on each others side, never to question a look or some quiet or a gesture or anything. We just know and trust each other and maybe one day we will get there and that is the love we both deserve.
Are you in it? Even from a distance? I miss you already and I love you more deeply because I know you more intimately and I thank you. Thank You.
M
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