Single Mother how can this be, this was not supposed to be my reality.
You see, I was raised by Betty Crocker, to cook, clean and wash, make all of the beds, feed the kids and speak soft.
I was never told I could be a doctor a lawyer or a judge, a CEO I knew not of. But I could learn to make fudge and brownies and meatloaf, mashed potatoes with peas, this was to be my life. I was happy and I was prepared to become a loving loyal wife
It was a dream that came true, that day when I and you said I do and I did and you didn’t, you couldn’t be in it. All the noise with the kids, diapers and dogs, the grass is always greener in someone else’s back yard.
So you didn’t and I still do, I do it alone yes it’s true. I’m not hateful or rageful or angry or hurt. See I’m done with all that I did all my work and I still do so I can be true to me and my boys. They are the focus of my life filled with toys and noise.
And it’s hard, yes it is. I pump myself up sometimes just to put on a smile, when I hear them enter the room because that is what matters. And at the deep part of my soul I feel guilty because I don’t want to do it alone. People say “you are not the only one” well honey I sleep with one, Me. And it is lonely you see. This is not the life that I planned. I feel side swiped, blind sided; he ripped out the carpet right where I stand.
I’m doing life a day at a time the best that I can. How much can I do? Get a job, wake the kids, walk the dogs, clean the house, be the driver and the coach and come on where’s the pot roast? I can’t be daddy. I can’t be daddy.
So the dream was shattered yes that is completely true, I don’t like it at all but what can I do? I can wake up in the morning and stumble to my feet, put the coffee on without skipping a beat, walk the dogs, wake the kids, put on a smile before the morning quiz, over waffles for breakfast then into the car off to the races, girl breathe your not far from being where you are. Now.
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